The Unhandsome Prince Read online

  Hal opened another ledger and flipped through the pages. The number of entries in red ink seemed to far outnumber the entries in black. Once again he closed the book and returned it to its neat stack. “I’m starting to think I was better off staying in the swamp. I’ve got an idea that might help. I’ll tell you about it after I see Mom.”

  Emily welcomed the opportunity to wash up and get out of her traveling clothes. Like any young woman of Melinower, she thrilled at the opportunity to stay at the palace. Unlike Caroline, however, she didn’t plan to stay more than a night and therefore saw no need to completely unpack. She brought out The Book of Shadows and made a halfhearted attempt to study it, then found herself setting out her makeup kit before the mirror and studying the contents of that instead. Emily didn’t normally wear makeup, except for special occasions. Now she eyed her reflection critically in the looking glass and wondered if she should put some on. She told herself that being in the royal palace counted as a special occasion and that it had nothing to do with Prince Hal. Or Prince Jeff, or any other sort of boy. Emily was not like Caroline. She had an apprenticeship. She was destined for a successful career as a sorceress. She didn’t have to worry about what boys thought of her. She nodded at her reflection, perhaps a trifle smugly. All that glamorous stuff could be left to girls like Caroline. Emily was a professional.

  Having decided that, she picked up her book again and opened it to a chapter that described some seventy methods of breath control that had to be mastered before uttering an incantation. This was every bit as fascinating as it sounds. It was easy to understand why sorcerers often locked themselves in isolated towers to study, away from the distractions of the world. (It was also easy to understand why some sorcerers went mad.) For a young woman spending her first day in the big city, not to mention the palace, there were far too many distractions, and they were far too close at hand.

  So she was glad that there came a knock on the door and that she opened it to find Prince Hal. She hadn’t been completely sure that she would ever see him again. Hal had changed clothes also and was wearing a white shirt with a navy blue waistcoat. Behind him Caroline wore a simple pink dress with her long blond hair tied back with a bit of ribbon. She thought the outfit gave her an innocent country-girl look, and she was right. Emily was clad in a severe black dress with a black cape lined in red. She thought her clothing gave her a professional sorceress look. It did—sort of. She was clearly too young to be more than an apprentice.

  Hal was quiet and subdued, even more so than when he had entered the palace, so the girls followed him without saying much. Emily, in fact, didn’t even ask where they were going as they traveled along lushly decorated hallways and down wide, carpeted staircases. It wasn’t until they got to an elegant door, gleaming with white lacquer and gold fittings, that Hal said to her, “Of course, she really wants to talk with Caroline, but I’ll introduce you anyway.”

  “Who?” said Emily.

  “Who?” said Caroline.

  Hal looked surprised. “My mother, of course. Didn’t I say that at lunch?”

  “Your mother?” said Caroline. “The Queen?”

  Hal pondered this. “Hmmm. My mother. The Queen. You may have hit on something there. Why yes, I believe there is a connection.”

  “I have to go back to my room,” said Emily. “And put on some makeup.”

  “So do I,” said Caroline.

  “You don’t wear makeup,” said Hal.

  “I have to . . . brush my teeth again. And my hair. And buy some makeup. And then put it on.”

  “Me too,” said Emily. “Why don’t you go ahead without us?”

  “Quit fooling around. She’s waiting to see us.”

  “She’s waiting to see you,” Emily told Caroline. “You’re the one who kissed her son. I really shouldn’t be intruding.” She turned and walked down the hall. Caroline grabbed her arm before she got a dozen steps.

  “Where are you going? I thought you wanted to see the Queen?”

  “Of course I do,” said Emily, as Caroline dragged her back along the corridor. “At a reception or something. In a receiving line. Maybe make some small talk. Not go in and actually meet the Queen. Let me go! She’s going to think I’m some small-town pudding head.”

  “What will she think of me? I’m from the same town you are. At least you lived in a castle.”

  “It was a little castle. In fact, it was more like a mansion.”

  “It wasn’t a shack. Emily, help me.” Caroline took both of the younger girl’s hands. “I can’t go in there alone. I’ll have to talk with her. What if I choke up? I need you to fill in the gaps.”

  “Hal will be with you.”

  “Hal, yes!” Caroline glanced back down the hall at Hal, who was waiting patiently out of earshot, and dropped her voice to a whisper. “You like Hal, right?”

  “Well, yes. So?”

  “Okay, so Hal was turned into a frog. For a long time he hasn’t seen his mother. And all this time the Queen, his mother, has missed her son. Her youngest son. Her baby. All she knew was that he was missing in action. And this is their reunion. Don’t you understand what a tender, touching, emotional moment this is going to be for them? And that Hal wouldn’t have brought us here if it wasn’t important to him?”

  Emily looked at Hal. He was leaning up against the door, looking off into space. His face showed he was lost in somber thought. She thought of her own mother, gone so recently, and of the special bond mothers have with their children. She thought of Hal in the swamp, the dark, wet, lonely nights, wondering if he’d ever see his family again. She nodded to Caroline. “You have a point. Okay, I’m right behind you.”

  The two girls approached Hal again. He raised his eyebrows quizzically. “Are you ready now?”

  “We’re ready,” Caroline told him. “Just an attack of butterflies. We’re fine.”

  “Then let’s go.” And with that, Hal kicked the door open, stepped inside, and yelled at the top of his lungs, “Hi, Mom! I’m home! What’s for dinner?”

  A pleasant voice wafted out from inside the room. “Wipe your feet!”

  Emily looked at Caroline. “Tender, touching, emotional. Yeah, right.”

  Caroline was looking at the carpet, searching for a place to wipe her feet. Hal touched her on the arm. “That was a joke. We were joking. Relax. Come on in.” He led her into a large sitting room with very high ceilings. The walls were done in white-and-gold lacquer, as was the furniture, while the carpet was an intricate pattern of gold and light blue. Huge, sunny windows overlooked a cobbled courtyard where small fruit trees grew. The windows were draped with lace, more lace than Caroline had imagined could exist in one place. Even stranger was a large glass bowl beneath one window, where tiny, finely marked fishes swam around a water lily. A maid was laying out a tea table, under the supervision of a tall, elegantly dressed woman. This must be Queen Helen. The maid was dismissed. In a daze, Caroline saw Hal hug and kiss his mother, heard herself being introduced. She managed to curtsey, then found herself sitting in a chair with a small plate containing a thin slice of cake in her hand. She struggled to bring her thoughts into focus, and realized the Queen was speaking.

  “. . . tremendously worried,” said Queen Helen. “You can’t imagine how relieved I was to hear that the spell had been broken.” She gazed fondly at Caroline. “Young lady, we are tremendously in your debt.”

  “Oh . . . no . . . I . . . it was . . . yes . . . not at all,” said Caroline.

  “Hal, do be a dear and pour the tea.” The Queen switched her gaze to Emily. “I believe Hal mentioned you are here to resume an apprenticeship. And I judge by your clothes that you are a student of sorcery, is that correct?”

  Emily managed a high-pitched squeak.

  “That can be an honorable profession, although so many people in that line of work indulge in the most unseemly behavior. This woman who enchanted poor Hal, for example. By all accounts she seems to have been quite, quite wicked. I do hope you wi
ll not resemble her in any way.”

  “Tea!” said Hal, pressing a cup into her hand. “Nice hot tea. Two sugars, right, Mom? And here you go, Emily. And pass this one to Caroline. Sugar, Caroline? Try one lump. Say, this is good tea, Mom. Did you switch shops?”

  Caroline now had a plate in one hand and a cup and saucer in the other. She watched Emily lean forward and set the plate on the table, then balance the saucer on one knee and lift the cup to her lips. Caroline did the same. So this was tea. She’d never had it before. (Five pence to the pound! Injurious to body and spirit!) The taste was not unpleasant, and the hot liquid seemed to clear the haze from her head.

  “My great-uncle Alphonse was turned into a frog,” the Queen was saying. “Although, family loyalty aside, I must say that it was not done without provocation. He was something of the black sheep of the family already. He led this poor woman down the garden path, then treated her in a most ungallant manner. Certainly he should have foreseen that something of the sort was coming. You cannot ride roughshod over the feelings of a sorceress and expect her to overlook it.”

  “That’s true,” said Caroline.

  “However, she did not turn him loose in a trackless swamp where all hope was lost. She dropped him off in a small fountain in the garden where we were able to find him the next day. That’s the way the thing is properly done, as we’ve always considered it. You can teach the offender a lesson without being malicious about it. Not like that—what was her name—Amanda? Not like that Amanda woman.”

  Caroline could not help enjoying this a little. She gave Emily a wicked smile. The younger girl was showing a great deal of interest in the bottom of her teacup.

  “Then what happened to your great-uncle?”

  “Well, Caroline, the family found a young woman from a good family who was willing to kiss Alphonse and break the spell. So they lived happily ever after, as the saying goes.”

  “How nice.”

  “We were so fortunate to have a girl of your determination and loyalty living near that swamp. I honestly feared we had lost Hal forever. I’m sure the two of you will be very happy together.”

  “Oh,” said Caroline. “Yes. Well, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”

  “Hal is such brave boy,” said Helen. “His father sends him on quests all over Melinower, and Hal never complains. Such awful scrapes he gets into. Of course, he’s always been that way. Once when Hal was a little boy, I took the whole family down to the seashore. Well, Hal had eaten beans for lunch and—”

  “Mom!” interrupted Hal in a warning tone of voice.

  “But perhaps I’ll tell you that story some other time.”

  “No you won’t,” said Hal.

  “Would anyone care for another cup of tea? Well then.” The Queen’s voice suddenly took on a brisker tone. She opened a drawer beneath the table and took out a quill, a pot of ink, and some foolscap. “We have a lot of planning to do. Caroline, they tell me that the wedding must take place fairly promptly, or Hal will turn back into a frog. So we must get down to work, and you’ll have to be fitted for a wedding dress very soon. Of course, the girls will need time to prepare their bridesmaids’ dresses. I think we should come up with a simple design, so they’ll be able to wear them again. Hal, this is all going to be girl talk from here on, so you may as well run along. Emily, you may stay if you wish.”

  “Oh, please stay,” said Caroline. The moment of truth had arrived, and she was suddenly finding out that, while it may be easy to criticize a boy to his face, and even easier to criticize him to your girlfriends, it is quite a different thing to tell a mother that her son is not good enough for you. Particularly if the mother happens to be the Queen.

  But if she was counting on having Emily in her corner, she was quickly disappointed. The younger girl said to Helen, “I’d love to, but I have so much to do in the city. And I’m sure you and Caroline have so many things to talk about.” It was now her turn to give Caroline a wicked smile. Caroline glared back at her.

  Hal stood as Emily did. “If you’re going into the city, I’ll escort you. I have a few errands to run myself.”

  “Then here,” said Helen to Emily, leading her to a cabinet. “You’ll need a sweater.”

  “Um, no, thank you, Your Highness” said Emily. “I’m fine for clothes.”

  “It’s chilly outside.”

  “It’s warm, Mom,” said Hal. “She doesn’t need a sweater.”

  “Take a sweater with you in case it gets cold later.”

  “Mom!” said Hal, in that same warning tone.

  “Well, if you think you’ll be all right.” She hugged Hal again, accepting another kiss on the cheek, and Emily managed to slip through the door, sweaterless. A few minutes later Hal joined her outside. Emily was glad to see him, for she really did not know her way around the city. And exploring it with Hal seemed the ideal way to learn the streets. She followed him down a flight of stairs to a broad, busy hallway. Large doors at one end led out of the palace, but Hal took her instead to a quiet, tree-filled courtyard.

  “First things first,” he said. “What were you planning to do in Melinower?”

  “I need to get started on my apprenticeship,” said Emily. “Apprenticeships in magic are very complex. There are papers to sign and arrangements to make. Where is he, by the way?”

  “Who?”

  “The wizard.”

  “What wizard?”

  “The sorcerer. You know, the one that kidnapped Rapunzel. What did you do with him? Is he in jail?”

  “Ah, no.”

  “What, is he locked up here? You have dungeons?”

  “No, he’s . . .”

  “You didn’t banish him, did you?”

  “He’s dead,” said Hal.

  Emily stood quite still. “He’s what?”

  “I had no choice. He attacked us just as I was getting Rapunzel out of the tower. He had some sort of magic where he was able to hurl these wicked balls of flame. It was only by the merest chance that I was able to dodge the first one and get my blade into him before he could let loose with another. A moment more, and I’d have been toast.”

  “I see,” said Emily. There was a broom leaning against the wall. Someone had used it to sweep leaves from the cobblestones. “Do you happen to remember his name?”

  “Um, no. Kind of a long, foreign name. It escapes me right now.”

  “Was it Gerald, do you think?” Emily reached for the broom handle and picked it up.”

  “No, it was an unusual name. It will come to me in a minute.”

  Emily made a few experimental sweeps with the broom. “It wasn’t Patrick, then?”

  “No, it was a foreign name, as I said. Let me think. It was something like . . . like . . .”

  Emily stopped sweeping and held the broom handle tightly with both hands. “Was it something like . . . Torricelli?”

  “Yeah! That was it.”

  Her scream could be heard throughout the palace.

  “It’s just that I don’t think Hal and I are compatible,” Caroline told Queen Helen. “I mean, I’ve only known him for a few days. Marriage is such a serious thing. I don’t want to rush into it.”

  The Queen eyed her doubtfully. “I must say that shows admirable restraint. Most girls your age would do exactly that, given a chance to marry into royalty. In fact, I’m rather under the impression that most of the girls in this kingdom dream their whole lives of marrying a prince.”

  “Oh, I don’t doubt it, Your Highness. I feel the same way. It’s just that I’m not sure that Hal is the right prince for me. Or that I’m the right girl for Hal.”

  “How odd you should say that. I’m told that Rapunzel said almost the same thing?”

  “Really?”

  “I’m afraid I understand you even less. Do you intend to go about kissing even more frogs? Until you find a prince that’s right for you?”

  Caroline looked into her cup, noticing a few specks of leaf in the dregs of her tea. She sw
irled them a bit. She had once heard that some women could read the future in the bottom of a teacup. She put the cup down and looked at Queen Helen.

  “Your Highness, you do have two other sons.”

  “Prince Jeffrey and Prince Kenneth,” said the Queen proudly. “Have you had a chance to meet them?”

  “Yes, Your Highness. They are both quite handsome.”

  “I am grateful to be blessed with three handsome sons.” The Queen said this with pride and absolute sincerity.

  Caroline pushed on anyway. “I was talking with Jeff—er—Prince Jeffrey, and he seemed really nice. And I thought that if I perhaps had a chance to get to know him better . . .”

  “My dear girl, surely you are not considering marrying Prince Jeffrey?”

  “Or Prince Kenneth. Well, it just seemed that if they turned out to like me and, well, I wouldn’t want Hal to be unhappy so . . .

  “Oh dear. It’s just out of the question, Caroline. There’s the dowry issue, after all.”

  “Yes, dowry,” said Caroline. “I was thinking about that after lunch. If I hadn’t broken the spell on Hal, the royal family would collect a dowry on him also, right? On all three of the boys?”

  “That is correct.”

  “But now you’re only collecting it on two sons. You’ve lost Hal’s dowry potential.”

  “In exchange for having Hal restored to me,” said the Queen. “I certainly have no complaints about that. And I do think you’ll make a lovely addition to our family, dear. I hope you don’t mind, but I had some inquiries made, and they have returned nothing but praise for you. Also, I must say you are uncommonly well-spoken for a girl of your class.”

  “Oh, thank you. My friends were kind enough to lend me books, and I’ve always tried to better myself.”

  “Did you have trouble with the silverware?”

  “Um, yes I did.”

  “The secret is to start with the outermost set and work in. But don’t worry. There are finishing schools that will teach everything you need to know about court etiquette. How to speak and how to walk and how to reply to an invitation to a garden party. Of course, you’ll also have attendants to guide you through all that.”